Awkward Day
by pandorasnotebook
Summary: Awkward Day is the Cullen's favorite holiday when you add 'In my pants' or 'In bed' to the end of every sentence. Poor Edward. Oneshot!


**If you have never experienced the greatness of the holidays In Bed/In My Pants Days then you have led a sheltered G-rated life. Good for you. If you live life on the fun side- Viva Awkward Day!**

* * *

**Awkward Day**

One overcast Monday morning Jasper, Alice, Emmett, and Rosalie loaded into the Corvette for yet another day of unneeded education at Forks High.

Emmett and Jasper were chuckling uncontrollably the whole way there. This was one of their favorite days in the history of the universe. Alice and Rosalie rolled their eyes, exasperated by their boyfriends' sense of humor.

It was only a few minutes before they reached the school. Edward pulled in right behind them in his silver Volvo. Bella was bouncing up and down in her seat beside him, giggling evilly.

"What!?!" Edward said for the fifteenth time since he picked her up.

Bella simply shook her head.

They met the rest of the family on the sidewalk outside the cafeteria.

"Hey Bella!" Emmett greeted her brightly. "How are you....in bed!?!"

Edward's eyes widened but Bella, Emmett, and Jasper burst into a fit of uncontrollable laughter.

"What the-" Edward began, then stopped and scowled. "It's 'In Bed Day' again, isn't it?"

"It's awkward day! A combination of 'In Bed Day' and 'In My Pants Day'" Emmett explained excitedly.

Edward sighed. "We just did this last week!" He complained.

"I get bored easily..." Emmett explained. "In bed."

Rosalie pushed him.

He stumbled a little but smiled and wrapped an arm around her tiny waist. "Just kidding." He muttered to her.

Edward scowled. ""I'm not doing it." He grabbed Bella's hand and started to pull her toward class. The other Cullens followed in a swarm.

"But Edward!" Bella squeaked, a little alarmed at almost having her arm yanked out of it's socket. "You have to do it...in my pants!"

"Oh no! Not you too!" Edward snapped.

Jasper chuckled, sensing Edward's distress and enjoying it too much.

"You set yourself up for that one!" Bella argued. "Erm...in bed." She tacked on the end.

"This is no time for you to be prudish..." Jasper told him. "In my pants."

"Yeah, it's just some innocent fun." Emmett backed him up. "In bed."

"You are all being perverted." Edward growled.

"In bed." Rosalie muttered.

"Yeah, Rose!" Emmett cheered, putting out his fist. She tapped it daintily.

"Traitor." Edward shot at her. "I-we-have to go to class now." He held Bella possessively. "I'll see you guys later."

"In bed." Jasper added as they continued to their class.

Edward and Bella sat down in their first class. Bella, for once, seemed perfectly at ease while Edward fidgeted. "Ugh! They give me such a headache!"

"In my pants." Bella added.

Mike, who had been walking past at that moment, stumbled. He shot the couple an alarmed look.

"Haha! Backfired!" Edward said happily.

"Maybe now he'll leave me alone..." Bella mused. "In bed."

The girl in the row in front of them froze, waiting to hear the rest of this juicy-sounding conversation.

"But people might get the wrong idea about what's going on!" Edward lowered his voice.

Bella waited. She made a motion with her arm for him to continue.

He frowned. "No!"

"Come on! It was too perfect! You can't pass up an opportunity like that!"

He smiled crookedly. "It was pretty perfect wasn't it?"

"Just say it."

"Fine. People might get the wrong idea about what's going on...in my pants."

The teacher, Mrs. Jenkins, who happened to be walking past at that moment, froze mid step to stare at Edward. Slowly she raised one heavily penciled eyebrow. A little smile played on her darkened lips.

Edward's eyes widened a little and he looked away quickly. After a few moments Mrs. Jenkins continued her journey to her desk.

Edward groaned softly. "Bad thoughts! Bad thoughts!"

"In bed."

"Bella can't you see that this game is twisting everyone's perception of-"

"In my pants!"

"You' being purposely stubborn-"

"In bed!"

"Okay, fine, whatever. Be that way-"

"In bed!"

"I'll just ignore you-"

"In bed."

He crossed his arms in front of him and stared intently at Mrs. Jenkins, who had begun her lecture. She winked at him.

Edward started and turned back to Bella. "What can I do to make you stop?"

Bella tapped the tips of her fingers together evilly, the tips of her fingernails made a pleasant clicking noise. She raised one eyebrow in her evil plotting face. "Well...you know what I want..."

"Not that."

"Fine." She pouted. "It's either we celebrate Awkward day..." She negotiated. "Or Scooby-Doo day."

Edward grasped the sides of his desk in panic. "Anything but Scooby-Doo Day!" He gasped.

"I do love compromise!" Bella chirped, happily. "In bed!"

Edward groaned, leaning back and counting the seconds until he could escape these overly hyper perverts.

The classes passed slower than the normal crawl for Edward, in a haze of giddiness for the Cullens, and total confusion for the students who witnessed the Cullen's secret holiday.

They all met up at lunch, sitting at their own lunch table that day.

Edward, already braced for what was to come, put up wall after wall, trying to keep the other Cullens' thoughts out.

"Hey! Guess what is coming up!" Alice gushed.

They all just stared at her.

Finally Edward muttered. "Please not Scooby-Doo day."

"This Saturday is our little Eddy's birthday...in bed!"

"We don't celebrate birthdays, Alice." Edward reminded her just as Bella said "This weekend is your birthday!?! I didn't know you had a birthday!"

Mike, who was walking past on the way to his table, shot Edward a look, apparently surprised by his lack-of-birthday.

Edward, meanwhile, shot Bella an incredulous glance. "I'm not God, Bella. Everyone has a birthday. But we don't celebrate birthdays!" At this last sentence he graced Alice with a warning stare.

Alice grinned evilly. "We're celebrating this time! We're throwing a wild party...in my pants."

The whole table (with the obvious exception of Edward) burst out into laughter.

"Too perfect! Too perfect!" Emmett cheered. "...In bed."

"But seriously..." Alice choked, "We should have a party this weekend...in my pants. It's only fitting ...in bed. We gave Bella one... in bed."

"Nope. Never. I will not allow you to throw a party!"

Alice pouted. "Come on...in bed. I'll love you forever...in bed."

"Stay out of my bed!" Edward nearly shouted at her.

Jessica, who had been walking past on her way to the garbage can, stared at Edward, face to face with Alice.

"Edward! Quiet down in bed!" Emmett snapped.

"Stop yelling so much...in bed." Rosalie added.

"You're being so difficult...in my pants." Jasper smiled.

Edward growled. little did he know, half of the fun of this holiday was watching Edward get all worked up.

The bell signaling the end of the lunch period sounded and Edward rushed Bella through their remaining classes, hardly giving her time to speak.

By the end of the day his avoidance tactics were running short and he was feeling strangely tired.

"I hate my existence." He groaned as he led Bella to his car.

Emmett, Alice, Jasper, and Rosalie were all getting into the Corvette not far away. Emmett turned when he smelled Bella's approach. "See you later, Bells...in my pants!"

Jasper turned a little also. "Have fun tonight you two...in bed!"

Bella waved. "See you guys in bed!"

Edward tugged her into the car.

The phone in Bella's pocket vibrated. "Something is vibrating....in my pants." She flipped it open with a flourish, "Hello!"

"Hey Bella!" Jacob Black said from the other end. "I just got out of school and well...I haven't seen you in a while. So I was wondering if you wanted to come over later and maybe we could have some fun...in bed."

Bella actually laughed out loud at this. "Who told you today is Awkward Day?"

There was dead silence for a few moments on the other end. Finally Jacob said, "Erm..What is Awkward Day?"

* * *

**Disclaimer- Nope. I don't own Twilight... in bed. **

**Explanation- SCOOBY DOO DAY! A day during which you talk like Scooby Doo. I might do another story on this magical day so keep an eye out for it. **

**Please leave a review ....in my pants! It's truly appreciated. Also, think about how fun you can make your reviews for this story. (Example for a normal story-Good. Example for this story- Good...in bed. Normal- God aweful. This story- God aweful in bed.) See how much fun.**

**Fun thing- add one of those endings to fortunes in fortune cookies and those messages on Dove chocolate wrappers. It's fun!**


End file.
